Gobble Gobble

When talking about ethnicity in one of my classes, one student tried to tell me about his heritage…

Hey, I’m part Turkey!

… an honest mistake, and a good teachable moment for the suffix -ish. Still, hilarious.

Amusing Responses

As I’ve mentioned before, I teach kids with specific communication difficulties, so I probably shouldn’t find some of their wordings as amusing as I do, but I also suppose it’s good to keep a light heart…

With that in mind, here are some amusing answers:

1. Who is Joe? How did he get to California?

Joe is an African American man who was a slave. He got to California by escaping the slavery place.

From vocabulary sentences:

appraising – measuring the worth of something

In math I am appraising with a watch.

forsake – to give up on or betray

The Ipod will never forsake his friend, the Ipad.

bounty – numerous good things

After homework, I get a bounty of TV.

 

 

Welcome back from break!

One of my students started my week off with this joke:

Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems!

This, of course, called for an instant rimshot.

Quotes before break

I daresay I’m as fried as the kids. Spring break starts after dismissal tomorrow, and it cannot come soon enough!

To cheer us through the last twenty-four hours, here are some quotes. Enjoy!

 

“May I get a drink? I feel like a cactus.” – 4th grade boy

***

“Can I have funny? Because that’s what I am.” – request made by 4th grade boy when choosing words for a synonym game

***

“I’m not going to be here tomorrow.” –5th grade girl

“Why not?” -me

“I have to go to a mountain!” She cracks up. “I don’t even know what that means!”-5th grade girl

I’m baaaaack!

Sorry for the radio silence as of late. March can be a tough time – conferences, objectives, report cards, and IEP/ISP meetings have swallowed much of my time. Working on my increasingly beautiful new home has taken up the rest.

The kids remain as hilarious as ever. Today, I received two different notes from fifth graders, each of them purposely made to look like they were trying to forge a note from their parents. No, I did not word that in an unnecessarily complicated manner. The part they found hilarious was making it obvious that they were the ones writing the note… making a big show during snack of writing it and of using bad grammar and spelling and whatnot.

The first went like this:

Please let me go to school. I need to learn about scientific proof about precipatation. I have a WEdding to go to so Ms. Trison please not forpoint.

From (—)

My reply, on the same piece of paper:

Dear (student’s name),

What???

From,

Mrs. Tryson

The second one read:

Dear Mrs tryson

do not Let me go to school today I have a dog apointment please not atte ym niotps today.

The explanation she gave for the second part was that she was trying to write the note backwards. It came out sideways.

My job is so surreal sometimes. I find myself uttering sentences that I never thought would come out of someone’s mouth. “Why are you dancing the hula in your chair?” “So you’re saying you’re secretly a squirrel.” “She has a wedgie, get over it.”

I’m looking forward to regaining my appreciation for the hilarity. As the overwhelming workload lightens, that should be more possible.

Sick day

So, I’m sick. Sick enough to take two days off of work, which hardly ever happens. I went into school yesterday morning under the classic assumption, made at six a.m., that it was just a cold and that I’d feel better after being awake for an hour or so. That assumption was wrong.

By seven-thirty, I’d already text messaged my assistant director, asking him to get me a sub for the  day. I did my morning duty, got the sub oriented, and prepared to leave. One of my first period fourth graders overheard the sub tell me to get plenty of rest. So, naturally, as I walked out the door, he calls after me:

“Hey, Mrs. Tryson, rest in peace!”

I did take the time to explain, in my strangled-not-really-there-voice, that I appreciated the sentiment but that it wasn’t correct to phrase it that way. I was definitely chuckling on the inside, though.

I’m still home, and still run-down, and my voice really isn’t back yet. I’m sick of being sick!

Like, OMG.

Well, folks, the day has finally come. This is what the answers in my sixth grade have come to:

4. How does Miss Harris react to Gilly?

Miss Harris is like OMG when she caught Gilly in the hallway.

 

Oh, my homeroom…

Kid 1: Do you believe in Santa Claus?

Me: Of course I believe in Santa Claus.

Kid 2: Do you believe in harmony?

Me: Of course I believe in harmony.

Kid 3: What’s harmony? What’s harmony? What’s harmony? What’s harmony?

Me: When two notes sound nice together.

Kid 3: Well, that’s dumb. Of course harmony exists!

Overheard in the classroom

This morning, as I look at the steadily growing pile of quotes from children on my desk, I can’t help but think of the website Overheard in New York. (Warning: if you’re unfamiliar with that site, it may not be appropriate to open at work because of language.) Many of my classroom quotes of late have very little context – and I feel that way even though I was there! They remain funny in an absurdist way, even if they are not an explainable kind of funny.

For example, a snippet of overheard conversation in my Take Aim class produced, “Moby Dick eats aliens.”

Another student in that class was trying to defend his illustration of the word “reside.” He’d drawn a woman and a box. To justify it, he said, “She lives in a box! She loves the box! She’s going to marry the box!”

… no amount of coffee allows me to make sense of that.

I have had some funny moments this week that do make sense, though. My two clever fourth-grade boys that often get quoted in here have been at it again. One is notoriously pessimistic, and the other is quite a wisecracker. The other day, when it was FDR’s birthday, I asked if anyone knew what the Great Depression was. The wisecracker said (and I’m replacing the other child’s name with “Pessimist” here), “Pessimist is, because he’s always depressed!”

We start the day with Brain Gym exercises, one of which is “hot air balloon.” When I announced that move yesterday, Wisecracker announced, “Pessimist, this should be easy for you! You’re full of hot air.”

These guys are best friends, and Pessimist sees the humor each time, so I let the ribbing continue. I’m hoping that Wisecracker can loosen him up. In the meantime, it’s hilarious.

 

All in the timing

“There are no pencils left in my cup? I’m starting to think kids eat pencils for breakfast.”

“I ate a pencil for breakfast. It was a mechanical one.”

“That’s… interesting.”

“Naw, I’m just kidding.”

Pause.

“I had a Pop-Tart.”

—

I love the way that they feel that they need to follow up with clarification when you’re joking around. In the moment, the timing makes it particularly hilarious. Enjoy your day, and please don’t eat any pencils.